Book Review: The Bride Saw Red by Robert Carson
George Markham has first world problems. HIs father made a lot of money through hard bargaining and the help of his wife. Bur the elder Mr. Markham died when George was quite young and left all his money to his widow, who’s done an excellent job of increasing the pile. By keeping the boy on a tight allowance, and having emotional meltdowns any time he got fed up and tried to leave, Mrs. Markham has kept George tied to her apron strings. And at age 29, he’s considerably fed up.
Sure, George Markham has a construction engineering degree, and did okay the one time his mother let him work on her properties in the Philippines, but she has no intention of letting him go anywhere else, or earning his own money. A fellow passenger on a return trip from a Hawaiian vacation, Mr. Kramer, would be willing to take in George as a partner in construction if he could get his mother to buy in. She won’t, sensibly enough, but her ulterior motive bleeds through.
By a particular set of circumstances, when they arrive in Los Angeles, Mrs. Markham needs to head straight to San Francisco, but instructs George to stay so he can drive up interior decorator Relon on the following day. After arranging things with Relon, George is at loose ends on his first day without his mother in ages. While reading a newspaper to kill time, George stumbles across an ad for the Acme Escort Agency.
On a whim, George calls the agency and asks for a small blonde woman, very pretty. He’s a bit surprised that they were able to produce a girl to his specifications for a very reasonable rental fee. Marthe Fabian has a fetching accent, claiming to be an Austrian refugee (the book was originally published in 1942, but was written in 1941.) She’s doing the escort gig while waiting for a Hollywood gig, but soon her permit to be in the United States will expire and she’ll have to go back to Mexico to wait with the other refugees for a more permanent entry visa.
Before this book can turn into a serious examination of the refugee plight, George spots a geography error no one who’s actually been to Austria (as he once was) would make. But Marthe’s easy on the eyes, quite charming, and he’s got an idea of how to use her. He proposes on the spot so that Marthe can have a green card marriage and stay in the States. A bit buffaloed by his enthusiasm as she hadn’t really meant to go forward with a scam this time (she was just practicing), Marthe finds herself agreeing, and it’s off on a late-night trip to Las Vegas!
After the quickie wedding, Marthe confesses that she’s actually just Martha from Columbus, Ohio. She’s kind of miffed when George reveals that he knew she was lying all along. Also, she’s found herself falling for the handsome jackass, and he doesn’t seem to be reciprocating in the same manner.
When the less than happy couple introduce the fact of the marriage to Mrs. Markham (mere) she is not well pleased. She tries to buy Marthe off, but Marthe’s not having it. She threatens to cut George off without a cent, but fails to realize that this is exactly what the young man has been planning on.
The triumph fades a little bit when the new Markham couple find themselves back in Los Angeles with no jobs, not even enough money for a hotel room for the night, and little to no knowledge of who their partner actually is.
The book’s blurb makes this sound like a romantic comedy, but there’s little of either romance or comedy as such to be found. Both partners are given to being ludicrously stubborn, even though George is starting a little late on this, having spent his life being a doormat for his mother, and a pleaser to other people.
By this time, Mr. Kramer has landed a contract with the U.S. government to build an airfield near the desert town of Joshua. He’s disappointed that there’s no investment coming, but based on George’s demonstrated blueprint creating skills, is willing to give him an underpaid job–as head of the project!
Marthe insists on coming along, and proves to be an excellent “wife” minus the part where they’re actually intimate. Both of them are angry at each other, and want a divorce, but they’ll get it on their own terms, dammit! George has some bumps at first because he’s never had to be a manager of people, but grows into the role with the help of funny Jewish commissary owner Max. (Okay, there’s a little comedy.)
Finally, the relationship reaches a crisis point, and there’s another flight to Las Vegas to have it out with each other.
Content note: Marthe claims several times that George once hit her, apparently to have leverage over him. At the end of the book, he finally loses his temper enough to actually slap Marthe, which proves that he actually loves her. (Yeah.) George’s mother is emotionally manipulative towards him. George gets violently ill from alcohol so normally doesn’t drink, but is forced by a well-meaning social acquaintance to imbibe. It goes badly. He starts smoking heavily during the course of the book. Teens on up should be okay, but I think most of them will bail during the slow parts of the book.
This is one of those books that I picked up in a bargain bin (reprinted as a paperback in 1948.) It’s most interesting as a time capsule of when it was written, just before America entered World War Two. The coming war lurks behind the events but no one in the story has any idea what’s coming.
George grows quite a bit over the course of the story, but I never really felt more than mildly sympathetic as he kept refusing to grow up about his relationship with Marthe until the very last moment. The one character I really liked is Max, much as I recognize that he’s a bit of a stereotype. Thankfully, he’s not overdone and appears just enough to be endearing.
I can’t really recommend this book to anyone, but maybe your tastes in romance run different to mine.
