Comic Book Review: The Best of DC #22: Christmas with the Super Heroes

Comic Book Review: The Best of DC #22: Christmas with the Super Heroes by various creators

‘Tis the holiday season, so let’s kick back and enjoy a collection of DC Comics heroes enjoying Christmas, or at least the secular version of same.

“The TT’s Swingin’ Christmas Carol!” written by Bob Haney and art by Nick Cardy, starts us off with the 1960s version of the Teen Titans. Miserly scrapyard owner Ebenezer Scrounge underpays his clerk, Bob Rachet, not realizing that his employee doesn’t leave only because he’s scraping money together to buy an electric wheelchair for his crippled son, Tiny Tom. Gee, this sounds awfully familiar somehow!

Tom stumbles on Scrounge renting out the junkyard at night to smugglers with a bizarre scheme wherein they bring worthless scrap into the U.S. and have it shipped to the junkyard, then turn it back into the valuable items it once was with a ray. Honestly, I can think of a half dozen ways for “Mr. Big” to use such a ray that are way less convoluted. Tom turns to the superheroes that care about the problems of young people, the Teen Titans!

When confronted, Scrounge points out he’s not doing anything illegal himself, even when his old partner, escaped convict Jacob Farley, shows up and reveals that Scrounge shifted all the blame on him for a past crime. Robin notices all the names and decides to recreate the classic Dickens plotline.

The visit of the three ghosts goes well until Mr. Big and his henchmen arrive and attack the Titans. Mr. Scrounge somehow has a “flesh magnet” that captures the young heroes, but his heart is touched when the crooks smash Tom’s old wheelchair. Sure enough, Ebenezer Scrounge becomes a reformed man. (The technology never appears again.)

Bob Haney notoriously did not have an ear for teenage slang, so the dialogue is painful at times, but it’s a fun story.

“Merry Christmas” written by Denny O’Neil, with art by Irv Novick and Dick Giordano, is a Batman story. Stranded motorists approach a house on a snowy Christmas Eve. The owner, an astronomer, tries to turn them away, but it turns out he meant to help. His other visitor is Chimp Manners, a thug who somehow got his hands on a vial of military nerve gas. Even Batman, who’s been tracking him from the helicopter crash, can’t make a move against him while the deadly poison is in play.

Chimp marches them all out into the storm to die. It might take a Christmas miracle to save them! It’s a short story with a hint of ambiguity.

“Freddy Freeman’s Christmas!” (no credits) features Captain Marvel, Jr., the superhero so cool he inspired Elvis Presley. As Junior, he’s awesome and beloved, there will always be a need for him. But in his civilian identity of crippled newsboy Freddy Freeman, he’s about to spend Christmas Eve alone, wondering what the use of him is.

But then there’s a knock on his door. Charity worker Mrs. Fotheringam is in need of someone to help her look after the children at the orphanage, and everyone else has plans. As he helps the children prepare for their Christmas, he notices one gloomy lad who is convinced Santa won’t be coming because poor children are not on his list.

Time to find a Santa Claus! As Captain Marvel, Jr., our hero locates a bell-ringer in a Santa suit, who turns out to be mostly reformed criminal Light-Fingers Louie. Although he isn’t up to anything criminal, Louie faints from the shock of a superhero showing up. But ordinary Freddie is able to explain what’s going on, and Louie agrees to help, even putting the touch on his also mostly reformed buddies.

But one fellow, Hard John, is less reformed than the others. He knocks out Louie and dresses in the Santa suit, planning to steal all the presents and pawn them for cash. Before he can get far, John is picked up by Junior, who doesn’t notice the substitution. Forced to go through with the impersonation, Hard John sees the joy of the orphan children and realizes what a heel he’s been.

When the boy who didn’t believe in Santa falls out the window, John risks his own life to save him, and they’re both saved by Junior. John confesses the truth to Junior, but the hero sees the change of heart the former criminal has gone through, and turns back into Freddy to join everyone for carols and warm wishes. A heart-warming story that points up why a superhero might be okay with not just staying in super form all the time.

“A Christmas Peril!” created by Bob Kane, art by Jerry Robinson, is a Forties Batman and Robin tale. Wealthy playboy Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson have left their Christmas shopping to the last minute. They’re shocked at the high prices of Christmas trees this year. Then they see one fellow with reasonable prices, who’s being threatened by mobsters.

Happy Hoggsby, gang leader is handling the ground work for a monopolization of the holiday greenery market, backed by young millionaire Scranton Loring. Scranton has just inherited the wealth of his uncle Caleb “Old Scrooge” Loring, and wants to live up to the nickname of “Young Scrooge” much to the dismay of his new guardian, the jolly Uncle Timothy. Timothy dressed up as Santa (his whiskers are real) to please the boy, but Scranton cares only for money.

It turns out Scranton’s lawyer and butler are in cahoots with Hoggsby, and have moved most of Caleb’s money into their own pockets. Timothy finds this out while the Dynamic Duo takes Scranton on a tour to see the damage his racket has caused to the little people. A combination of this and the shock of learning the true nature of the men he trusted reforms Scranton, who will now be generous and merry. Predictable but fun.

“The Seal Men’s War on Santa Claus” written by Michael Fleischer with art by Jack Kirby and Mike Royer is a rarity. The 1970s Sandman was a short-lived series created by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, where a fellow who lived in the Dream Stream watched over the dreams and nightmares of children, despite looking basically like a superhero. (This was later heavily retconned.)

This story was meant to be the seventh issue, before the title was cancelled. The Sandman’s special young friend, Jed, is sent out by his cruel guardian to fulfill a promise her useless son Bruce made to collect a Christmas Fund donation from notorious skinflint Titus Gotrox. Jed realizes how stupid this is, but perseveres through the cold and snow.

Jed’s belief in Santa Claus amuses Gotrox, and he pledges to make a million dollar donation–if Jed can prove that Santa Claus really exists before midnight! Titus’ nephew Rodney starts sweating when he notices just how confident the boy is that he can succeed. After all, as Gotrox’s sole heir, he doesn’t want any of that sweet cash to go to anyone else.

Jed uses his special whistle to summon the Sandman, who is more than willing to take the boy on a journey to the North Pole, but the careless lad drops the whistle, which allows Rodney to follow with a gun, determined that the mission will fail.

Once at the North Pole, it turns out that Santa Claus has been taken captive by the Seal Men, and a rescue must be accomplished. Plus, why are the Seal Men mad at Santa anyhow? After that, Rodney is kind of an anticlimax. Gotrox learns that Santa is real, but he had already decided to donate the money even if Jed failed, because he started to remember his own belief. Happy ending!

“Robin’s (Very) White Christmas!” written by Bob Rozakis, art by Jose Delgo and Vince Colletta takes place during Dick Grayson’s Hudson University days. Dick’s helping out a charity drive while a snowstorm closes in. He’s mugged by a guy in a Santa suit, but quickly figures out where the criminal will strike next and Robin saves the charity money. Dick can’t get back to Gotham City for Christmas, but maybe his family will meet him partway! So-so.

“The Man Who Murdered Santa Claus” written by Len Wein, art by Dick Giordano & Dick Dillon, is a Justice League of America story to close out the volume. Batman and Superman are going to escort a Santa impersonator to an orphanage, but the man is exploded by someone who leaves a rhyming riddle and a mysterious key.

Many of the Leaguers are unavailable, including Green Lantern Hal Jordan, who’s knocked himself out slipping in the shower. So the handful of heroes is joined by backup Lantern John Stewart. This is the first time the Justice League has met him, though Green Arrow will admit he’s heard of the fellow, despite riding him all story.

It turns out the villain known as the Key is dying, so he’s set up an elaborate trap in a St. Louis, Missouri slum. Unless the heroes insert the key into the right lock before midnight, a powerful bomb will destroy the city. As they infiltrate the building, the League finds a series of traps that seemingly kill them off one by one as they sacrifice themselves for each other.

Turns out, though, that there’s a surprise guest character. This story’s best bit is a character establishing moment for John Stewart. He can’t just give the slum dwellers new housing, but when their buildings are blown up, he can rebuild them as they were before years of neglect and damage. Also, Red Tornado gets a new costume and maybe learns a bit about the true meaning of Christmas.

It’s a nice assortment of Christmas stories, heavy on the Santa side. Best of luck finding a copy!