Anime Review: Bastard!! Heavy Metal, Dark Fantasy (2022)
Centuries ago on a planet named Earth, there was a great scientific civilization. But Man grew proud, and created its own new god, Anthrasax, Goddess of Destruction. Naturally, they could not control it, and the old world ended. Now, science is virtually unknown, magic and wizards are a thing, while monsters and demihumans wander the world as well as the remaining humans. Fifteen years ago, the powerful wizard Dark Schneider and his Four Divine Kings led the Dark Rebel Army in battle against the four major human kingdoms. Dark Schneider was slain, and bereft of their leader, the rebel army retreated. But now they’re back and threatening the kingdom of Metallicana.
Metallicana’s own hero, the Dragon Knight Lars, was also killed in that conflict, and Great Priest Geo is past his prime, but they do have a hidden ace. It seems that one of Dark Schneider’s many magic powers was reincarnating himself when killed, ensuring that he would always be young and handsome. But Geo managed to interfere with the spell, merging the wizard with an innocent child, Lucien Renlen. Lucien has none of Dark Schneider’s memories or personality, but the wizard can be unsealed from within him by a virgin’s kiss. (Another virgin kiss will reseal him.)
As it happens, Geo’s daughter Yoko, Lucien’s not that much older guardian, is a virgin of the right type. (It will later turn out that so is Princess Sheila.) She’s understandably reluctant to kiss a boy on the lips, but needs must. Dark Schneider is released! Of course, this was a last resort as he seems to be the same egotistical, lecherous, chaotic asshole as before being sealed. He is barely persuaded to defend the kingdom, and is not happy about being resealed afterwards.
The threats keep coming, and Darsh needs to be unsealed again and again (pretty soon the original kiss thing becomes an artifact.) His presence attracts the Four Divine Kings, first master ninja Gara, half-elven Empress of Thunder Arshes Nei, and finally for this season, Abigail the prophet of the underworld. Kali-Su, the frost wizard, does not directly attack in this first season.
The new animated series is based on the 1988-present manga, which originally began in Shounen Jump before schedule slip made it jump to the older-audience Ultra Jump. An OVA adaptation of the first three volumes came out in 1992, so the initial material in this version may seem awfully familiar.
Good: This is “Eighties Heavy Metal Album Covers: The Anime” and it delivers on that promise with lots of wizards and monsters and scantily clad women and explosions and has a rocking soundtrack. The combat is exciting, and though DS is vastly overpowered, he doesn’t have it all his own way. The many, many referential name jokes are amusing, especially if you were a heavy metal fan in the 1980s. And for other nerds, there’s a lot of D&D shoutouts.
We eventually learn that the Dark Rebel Army has an understandable goal, overthrowing the current monarchies based on bloodlines and replacing them with “Sorcerer Kingdom”, a magic-based utopian society that accepts all races and treats people equally. How awakening Anthrasax to destroy the world again plays into that is kind of muddled, and we later discover that Dark Schneider and the Four Divine Kings have very different individual goals and visions of the future.
It’s also clear that without DS as a leader, the Four Divine Kings haven’t really been close in the last fifteen years. They’re often unfamiliar with each other’s important underlings, and operate separately. This means they’re not quite the threat they would be if the Dark Rebel Army had full cooperation, and can be defeated piecemeal.
Less good: Dark Schneider is an ass. He may sometimes do good things in passing if it gets him something he wants, but he’s just as quick to do awful things if it strikes his fancy. And he’s either on screen or being talked about by the people on screen 90% of the time. He can be fun to watch, but his antics get tiring and repetitive, and he’s mostly just the “hero” because the majority of his opponents are even worse (until the redeemable ones switch sides.) This is mitigated somewhat by his “Lucien” personality seeming to give DS a softer side.
Dark Schneider is also horny on main and frequently feels up women against their express wishes–he never quite gets to sex on screen this season. He doesn’t have boundaries on this either, his primary lover Arshes Nei is his adoptive daughter. Yoko is the sort of tsundere-ish “pervert punisher” that was considered hilarious in the 1980s, and DS cannot defend against her slaps, but she still falls for him anyway. This makes for uncomfortable viewing.
A big problem is a lack of worldbuilding. Since the camera is so tight on DS and his direct enemies, the setting seems like a painted backdrop. Do the king’s ministers have actual jobs besides standing around either panicking, toadying, or criticizing Dark Schneider? What kind of economy does Metallicana have? Do the elves have their own civilization? What about the monster races? Does the Dark Rebel Army actually have a plan for running things–what kind of government do they have in the conquered areas? Not a clue to be found.
Odd: Every so often the characters, especially Dark Schneider, will make reference to the fact that this story started as a shounen manga, and certain things may be pushing the envelope for what can be shown. Later, one of these jokes is updated to this being an anime. The timescale is wobbly, so it’s not clear if certain things existed before the apocalypse, or are the result of the apocalypse. (Dark Schneider himself may or may not have been born before the end of the old world.)
Content note: Lots of over the top violence, often gory, and mutilation. Male and female nudity (no nipples or genitalia)–DS gets his clothes blown off a lot! Sexual assault; rape is threatened but not done this season. Dark Schneider and Arshes Nei’s relationship is kinda skeevy. Fantastic racism–Arshes Nei was mistreated because she’s half elf.
Overall: There’s a lot of fun here as long as you don’t take the series too seriously; this is spectacle, not fine literature. Most recommended to the intersection of heavy metal and D&D fans who are nostalgic for the Eighties.
