Manga Review: Ultimate Muscle Battle 24 by Yudetamago
Years ago, Kinnikuman (“Muscle Man”) was the world’s worst superhero. When he wasn’t causing disasters due to his profound stupidity instead of stopping them, civilians were actively embarrassed to be saved by him. (This is, after all, a man who flew using the power of compressed farts.) Eventually, it was revealed that he was actually Suguru Kinniku, an alien prince from a planet of professional wrestlers who’d accidentally been abandoned on Earth. He made a lateral move into wrestling, saving the world from monstrous evil wrestlers. At the climax of his career he won the throne of his homeworld and became King Kinnikuman. But that was then.
Now a new threat to peace has erupted on Earth due to several of the old evil wrestlers teaming up with new, even more monstrous evil wrestlers. King Muscle has really let himself go since his glory days, so insists that his son Mantarou Kinniku step up. Problem is that Mantarou is a lazy coward who has zero interest in learning to wrestle or risking life and limb in combat. But it’s not as though he’s going to have a lot of choice, and soon Mantarou has become the reluctant hero Kid Muscle. (That’s him in the center on the cover, though he’s barely in the story in this volume.)
Yudetamago is the pen name of creators Yoshinori Nakai and Takashi Shimada, who started the original Kinnikuman manga back in 1979. It got an animated adaptation, which did not appear on American television as the strict broadcast rules at the time would not have allowed it (again, weaponized farts.) The plastic toys of the characters, however, showed up in American stores as Mattel’s M.U.S.C.L.E. line. This sequel, Kinnikuman II Sei (Second Generation Kinnikuman) started in 1998, and was given the American title “Ultimate Muscle” to cash in on nostalgia for the old toys.
While the series itself is comedic, within the story, professional wrestling is absolutely real with no scripted fights or kayfabe. The “heels” are genuinely bad people who want to conquer/destroy the earth, only bound by the loose rules of the wrestling ring.
So the 24th volume, which I have to hand. The Demon Seed superhumans have succeeded in slicing the heroes’ strategist, Meat (and it says something when the smart guy of the team is named “Meat”} into several pieces to hold hostage and force battles at several locations in an attempt to resurrect one of their ancient leaders. Just to make it harder, the evil superhumans have erected barriers around their arenas that are impossible for truly good people to get through. (And considering some of Kid Muscle’s behavior, “good” has a wide definition.) This means that the battles must actually be fought by the Army of Idols, formerly evil wrestlers who are trying to turn over a new leaf.
This volume opens in the middle of the battle between Comrade Turbinski, a fellow who can turn into Russian aircraft, and Meltdown, who turns into a nuclear-powered motorcycle. You’d think that flying would give one combatant the advantage, but Meltdown can create roads in the air, and his demonic GPS guides him straight to his enemy’s weak points, even when Turbinski is in stealth mode! Honestly, I think we’re getting pretty far afield from the “wrestling” concept here.
Once that battle is completed, it’s off to the historical star-shaped fortress Goryokaku in Hakodate, Hokkaido. There the Edo Era-themed Demon Seed superhuman Tattooman holds one of Meat’s legs hostage. Up against him is Barrierfreeman. Barrierfreeman is actually two wrestlers fused together, the youthful but dull Nils, and the ancient but wily Georgioman (“Jijioman” in the Japanese, which is basically “Elderly Man”.) Georgioman is a stereotypical “dirty old man” known as “the nuclear bomb of lust”, who was once trapped inside a tree for 200 years for his sexual harassment crimes. On his way to the ring, Georgioman molests one of the female spectators and steals her bra.
As Tattooman puts it, “Even I can’t stand to watch this, and I’m evil!”
Once inside the ring, however, Barrierfreeman mostly skips the “dirty” part to concentrate on the “old” part, with a couple of bits where Nils takes over to give Georgioman a breather. Tattooman’s clockwork dolls are deadly, but Barrierfreeman is more cunning.
This honestly is not a good place to start looking at the series, as it’s in the middle of a complex plot arc, and the main characters barely appear. Plus, let’s face it, a lot of readers are going to nope out at the dirty old man humor.
As a whole? The series has fun cartoony art, many interesting character designs, and some kickass battle sequences. Most of the humor is vulgar, and likely to appeal to the target audience of middle school boys. Try not to think too hard.
Recommended to middle school boys and those who never quite got over fart humor.
And here’s the intro to the cartoon version:
