Movie Review: Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. (1990) directed by Michael Herz
Every thousand years, there is a certain celestial conjunction known as “the Dragon Dances Through the Hoop of Jupiter.” If certain events happen at the same time on Earth, the being known as the Evil One will attain immortality and be able to rule the world. The responsibility of stopping the Evil One falls to the hero called “Kabukiman.” The current Kabukiman is elderly and can no longer use the powers effectively. Good news: A worthy successor has been found and has been training for the mission for the last twenty-five years. Bad news: The Evil One has discovered who this successor is and murdered him–and his entire family just to be safe. This bodes ill.
Lotus (Susan Byun), granddaughter of the current Kabukiman, suspects something has happened to Ichiro, the Chosen One, and asks her grandfather to consider passing the powers to her. When the Evil One’s minions attack the Kabuki performance the old man is in and mortally wound him, he must make a decision. As it happens, Detective Sergeant Harry Griswold (Rick Gianasi) of the New York Police Department is at the theater following up a lead when the violence goes down. The dying old man forces the transfer of Kabukiman’s powers on Griswold.
Without the proper training, Griswold is initially unable to understand or fully control his transformations into Kabukiman or the powers it gives him. It does not help that the understandably miffed Lotus is more inclined to berate Griswold for his failings than to explain the situation in terms he can grasp. Things will get worse before they get better, helped along by the Evil One’s plans.
This film was created by Troma Entertainment, an indie film studio known for its deliberately trashy exploitation movies, with their most famous creation being The Toxic Avenger. It’s fairly typical of the studio’s output, with gory violence, lowbrow humor, tits (in the unrated version which is what I saw) and grotesque transformations. A particularly well-done car flip and explosion made for this movie was reused in several other Troma films.
The movie embraces its nonsensical nature and seldom slows down for snoozy serious scenes. There’s even an extended sequence where Griswold incorrectly triggers his transformation and has to flee the criminals while in the guise of a circus clown. The criminals are suitably goofy, from the incipient Evil One, billionaire Reginald Stuart (Bill Weeden), owner of Stuart Pendex; through the Reverend Snipes (Larry Robinson) who pretends to be concerned with the poor and downtrodden but is actually a drug kingpin; to Rembrandt (Thomas Crnkovich), a vain hitman who thinks he’s an “artist.”
This movie is one of the earliest examples of a plotline I’ve since seen multiple times. Schlubby male (Griswold’s apartment is filled with beer cans and he’s seriously out of shape for a police officer, and is honestly barely competent at his job) meets kickass awesome woman who should be the hero (Lotus is a skilled martial artist, well educated and fully familiar with the Kabukiman history and tradition). For the first third of the story, the woman gets to show off how competent she is. But the schlub has some special quality that makes him the Chosen One instead, so the woman must train him how to be awesome. In the last quarter of the film, the woman is sidelined in some way, so that the man can show off how awesome he’s become and be the hero of the story. Also, he and the woman become romantically linked. You can probably think of three or four movies you’ve seen since 2000 that match the pattern.
If the central premise of “white American is transformed into a living collection of stereotypes about Japanese culture” is something you can’t deal with, skip this movie. While it’s not using stereotypes about Japanese people, it’s going to be uncomfortable for many viewers.
Topical: A police officer murders criminals in various amusing ways and faces no consequences for this. Yes, he does this mostly in his superhero form, but he doesn’t have a secret identity. The police are depicted as generally well-meaning, if incompetent and ham-strung by politics. Lawyers are depicted as amoral people who are happy to get murderous criminals off the hook in exchange for large sums of money.
Content note: Body function humor, rape, female nudity, onscreen sex (no genitals), gory violence, harm to children, transphobic/homophobic humor, sexism, drug use.
Overall: If you can deal with the cringy bits, this is a fun trash movie for watching with friends or as a mood-lifter.
